How to write a eulogy or tribute

Writing a eulogy is a deeply personal way to honour a loved one. The most meaningful tributes focus on capturing the essence of the person rather than just listing a timeline of their life and achievements.

Before you start writing:

• Talk to family and friends: Ask for their favourite memories or words that describe the person.
• Identify a theme: Listen for recurring qualities, such as their generosity, their good sense of humour, or dedication to family.
• Share examples: Instead of just saying they were "kind," share specific examples that illustrates that kindness in action. 

How long should a eulogy or tribute be?

A typical eulogy lasts between 3 and 5 minutes (roughly 500–1,000 words). 

• Introduction: Share your name and your relationship to the deceased.
• The heart: Share 2-3 personal stories or milestones that reflect their character.
• The closing: End with a final farewell message, a meaningful quote, or a favourite saying of the deceased. 

Practical writing tips:

• Be authentic, not formal: Write as if you are speaking to a friend. Sincerity matters more than being perfect.
• Include lighter moments: Don’t be afraid of appropriate humour; it can provide comfort and reflect the joy the person gave to others. 
• Focus on the person, not the CV: Share their interests and the impact they had over a list of job titles.  Thank them for what they gave to your life.
• Share relatable memories: Share stories that are simple to explain and relatable to many mourners.

Be prepared:

• Print in large font: Use a large, readable font and number your pages so you don’t lose your place if you get emotional.  Paper is much easier than reading from your phone. 
• Practice aloud: Reading the speech multiple times helps you find the right pace and manage your emotions.
• Have a backup: Give a copy to the celebrant or a friend just in case you become too emotional to continue on the day
• Support on the day: If someone is happy to come forward and stand next you as emotional support, it can help relax you knowing they are there.

Take a breath, go easy on yourself, it can be difficult task sharing your heart with everyone.